So lately I have been a complete emotional roller coaster. I’ve heard that term in movies and from my friends, and I never fully understood that saying up until the past few weeks. I have always been very sensitive to everything, and emotional about most subjects, but my mood swings have gone completely haywire. I’m guessing its due to my abnormal intake of hormones; first stopping the use of the birth control pill two months ago, and then taking the morning after pill six weeks ago.
I have a feeling I might be pregnant because my emotions have never been so high strung and depressing.
Just last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I was very very very angry, but not at him, just at the whole world. I haven’t been that angry in about three years from when one of my very good friends died and I didn’t know whether to be upset that he was gone, or to be angry because of how he died, and why I wasn’t invited to his funeral. Last night my angry way of speaking turned into me sobbing, and almost breaking my phone with how much of my salty tears got inside the keyboard. Lately, if anything starts to frustrate me or I start thinking about a situation that gets me mad, I can’t help but start to tear up and my face starts feeling hot. I really don’t know what is wrong with me and my boyfriend suggested that maybe I should go to a doctor. My mom doesn’t want me getting prescribed any anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills because the first time I had been prescribed them was in fourth grade and my mood swings got even worse. The only thing was that during that time I wouldn’t cry, I would just get very angry really fast at everything, and then all of a sudden turn into a calm and happy person. Those pills, I feel, didn’t do anything for me but mess up my emotional stability.
I have to do a few things to settle this, and they are written in the order of which I will do them:
- Take a pregnancy test(If positive, then to the next step; if negative go to the fourth step).
- Go to a doctor to confirm and talk it over with my boyfriend and mother on what I should do.
- Most likely schedule an abortion or pay for the abortion pill.
- Go on with my life and wait for my period.
- Go to a doctor/shrink about my emotional instability.
- If that doesn’t help, just try to deal with everything by continuing to do what I love best: school, photography, guitar, web design and graphic design.
Now onto greener pastures, I have posted my Day 2 Picture of my 365 Pictures Project at my Fotolog(CLICK HERE) but I’ll post the second picture here as well:
I took this picture because these are the roses my boyfriend gave to me for New Years and all but one are now dead. This one rose won’t die and it makes me happy because I feel it was the most beautiful rose of the bunch.
I learned how to write a wordpress theme from scratch last night from this tutorial(CLICK HERE). And I will be working on wordpress themes for my visitors, as well as regular iframe layouts or puse XHTML layouts. I’m just about done practicing a certain song on the guitar so I will be posting my guitar playing and vocals as well. I saw a few movies on StageVu.com, most of them old, and I’m going to write reviews on them because I feel they deserve the attention. I have also seen a few movies in theatres with my boyfriend and my mom so I will be posting reviews for them as well.
Anyways I’m going to go return comments and possibly make a wordpress theme for my future domain =].
Candid and Emotional,