So lately I have been a complete emotional roller coaster. I’ve heard that term in movies and from my friends, and I never fully understood that saying up until the past few weeks. I have always been very sensitive to everything, and emotional about most subjects, but my mood swings have gone completely haywire. I’m guessing its due to my abnormal intake of hormones; first stopping the use of the birth control pill two months ago, and then taking the morning after pill six weeks ago.
I have a feeling I might be pregnant because my emotions have never been so high strung and depressing.
Just last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I was very very very angry, but not at him, just at the whole world. I haven’t been that angry in about three years from when one of my very good friends died and I didn’t know whether to be upset that he was gone, or to be angry because of how he died, and why I wasn’t invited to his funeral. Last night my angry way of speaking turned into me sobbing, and almost breaking my phone with how much of my salty tears got inside the keyboard. Lately, if anything starts to frustrate me or I start thinking about a situation that gets me mad, I can’t help but start to tear up and my face starts feeling hot. I really don’t know what is wrong with me and my boyfriend suggested that maybe I should go to a doctor. My mom doesn’t want me getting prescribed any anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills because the first time I had been prescribed them was in fourth grade and my mood swings got even worse. The only thing was that during that time I wouldn’t cry, I would just get very angry really fast at everything, and then all of a sudden turn into a calm and happy person. Those pills, I feel, didn’t do anything for me but mess up my emotional stability.
I have to do a few things to settle this, and they are written in the order of which I will do them:
- Take a pregnancy test(If positive, then to the next step; if negative go to the fourth step).
- Go to a doctor to confirm and talk it over with my boyfriend and mother on what I should do.
- Most likely schedule an abortion or pay for the abortion pill.
- Go on with my life and wait for my period.
- Go to a doctor/shrink about my emotional instability.
- If that doesn’t help, just try to deal with everything by continuing to do what I love best: school, photography, guitar, web design and graphic design.
Now onto greener pastures, I have posted my Day 2 Picture of my 365 Pictures Project at my Fotolog(CLICK HERE) but I’ll post the second picture here as well:
I took this picture because these are the roses my boyfriend gave to me for New Years and all but one are now dead. This one rose won’t die and it makes me happy because I feel it was the most beautiful rose of the bunch.
I learned how to write a wordpress theme from scratch last night from this tutorial(CLICK HERE). And I will be working on wordpress themes for my visitors, as well as regular iframe layouts or puse XHTML layouts. I’m just about done practicing a certain song on the guitar so I will be posting my guitar playing and vocals as well. I saw a few movies on StageVu.com, most of them old, and I’m going to write reviews on them because I feel they deserve the attention. I have also seen a few movies in theatres with my boyfriend and my mom so I will be posting reviews for them as well.
Anyways I’m going to go return comments and possibly make a wordpress theme for my future domain =].
Candid and Emotional,
Lady Impulse
Lady Impulse 
*sends some positive vibes your way* Sounds like you could use a little good cheer. I hope things turn out all right. 🙂
I also just wanted to say a little thank you for stopping by and commenting on my blog. 🙂
aww thank you and no problem!
I hope everything turns out okay for you!
I know what you mean about anti-depressants. I felt that way too, when I had to take them (when i was younger). Anti depressants made my moods worse as well. I hope everything turns out the way you want!!! 🙂 Thanks for visiting, and commenting on my blog too. 🙂
they suck so badly!
Something that helps is going on walks. You have time to think and it is something natural that humans don’t do often enough.
Another is to maintain a regular sleep schedule. I know it sounds hard but it is possible. I never thought I could do it until I tried. You will surprise yourself with what you can do if you would only try.
When I was younger I told my dad about my depression. He replied “Life sucks. Everyone is depressed. Don’t let anyone fool you. Those people who you see who look happy are just used to acting like it.”
I would hate to be in your situation. When I don’t get enough sleep, I have CRAZY mood swings, so I can relate. And if you stopped taking the pill, maybe your mind is stressing about it subconsciously, and taking the morning after pill stressed it even more. Maybe the thought that you might be pregnant is making you feel pregnant. Like a placebo effect? That’s my words of comfort for you. Hope it helps. And good luck these next few days!
i’m hoping, i’m just not ready for that kind of thing in my life
seems like you’re really having a hard time…
i know what you mean by getting angry all the time then suddenly cry and then get calm… i went through kind of the same situation around three years ago. i didn’t have any medication whatsoever… i just really dealt with my emotions and just found ways to entertain me and make me happy, like my favorite hobbies…
i hope everything goes well for you… =]
Thanks so much for the comment.
Wow…you’ve got a lot going on. I’ll confess I’ve had those scares from time to time myself. Looks like you are at least in the right direction about things. Be good to yourself. All the best on a great new year.
Wow. I don’t know what to say, because the same thing with me aswell. Except I don’t have mood swings or if i do i don’t notice it.
Anyways- I hope you find out what’s going on, let us know if you are or if you are not.
Take it easy. – Tiara .
Oh I hate that you’re struggling like this! This was my November and December, and I almost wish I had been pregnant, it would have been more straight forward to deal with and there would have been a road map.
I hope you get to the bottom of this and you get it figured out soon so you can go back to feeling like yourself ❤
Hey, I’m sorry about your mood swings.
I just got off birth control for the first time in like 4 years a couple of months ago. I figured its probably not good for your body to be pumped with that much estrogen for so long (and to pretend that it has been pregnant for 4 years) – plus I missed my testosterone. I got more zits and my metabolism went back up, but thats about it. I’m probably less moody now than I was before.
There are interesting things to photograph everywhere, you just have to open your eyes to whats around you. There are beautiful things everywhere you look- most people just walk right past them. Learn to see the beauty in everyday objects and in your surroundings- often it is easier not to notice interesting things that you see every single day than to ignore something new.
If you actually sick with P.365 (its hard- its a serious commitment), you will learn this and other ways to improve your photography.
Good luck!
yeah i actually have to upload 2 pictures tmro because I wasn’t home for the 3rd day =[.
I refuse to go anywhere near the pill or any other thing that fiddles with your hormones just because I hate turning into a weepy, angry, overemotional pile of mush.
The fear of being pregnant can subconsciously give you “symptoms”. It happened to me before.
Interested in hearing your guitaring and singing.
I’m really sorry to hear that. It’s the worst when you feel like a victim of your emotions 😦
I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so up and down, I think you are right thinking it may be to do with coming off the pill etc.. those things can really mess up your hormones. I hope everything goes ok and you can sort it out and start feeling better again.
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling like this. It must be so stressful. I think that it is good that you made a list of what you’re planning to do though. Sometimes when you look at everything in a normal looking form it seems a bit less intimidating. Hope that you start feeling better soon!!